Raya 2010

Tahun nie, raya kat Kedah... Tapi rasa cam tak raya sb tak pergi beraya pun... Dah la balik kampung pada pagi raya sb kerja 1 day before. Mak pulak tak sihat... Kaki bengkak lagi & demam + muntah... Makan minum pun tak lalu... Dah la aku sekeluarga aku ni tengah sibuk nak pindah barang sb tuan rumah dah sibuk nak jual rumah... Esok da nak balik kl sambung mengemas kat sana plak... Hari Khamis nie lori datang nak mengangkut dah.... Tahun 2008 aku tak beraya... Sb pregnant, aku tak leh travel jauh bleeding. Tahun 2009 raya best! Sb raya kedua-dua belah, raya kat KB & kedah. Mmm.. Entah macam mana la raya tahun depan plak... Hopefully ada rezeki lebih & boleh raya. ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Hari Raya dah makin hampir...

Serius tak der mood nak kerja dah… raya dah dekat tapi kene kerja… pastu ada pulak orang bangang suruh standby perpindahan pada petang kamis nie (09.09.10)… tak reti-reti ker hari tu kan setiap tahun orang half day balik raya… sapela nak kerja lagi dah time-time tu… semua dah nak balik raya la…. Entahla.. menyampah dah… makin hari makin menyampah… blah jer la… arrgghh…. Apa la nak jadi dengan office aku nie… lantak lah.. Ade aku kesah…?

Sorrylah banyak pulak luahan hati tak puas hati… J

mmm… sekarang memang aku dah tak der mood nak kerja… RAYA MOOD dah!!! Biskut raya sebijik pun tak beli.. sb kurang bajet tahun nie… baju raya sorang sepasang mama & balqis jer.. ayah tak nak sb tak der bajet cian ayah.. kain dah beli tapi tak jahit… L teruk betul rasa tahun nie raya.. tapi SYUKURLAH aku masih tidak seteruk orang lain yang langsung tak der apa-apa… sob..sob.. tak der ker orang bagi aku hadiah ker hamper kuih raya… sb aku dah tak der kuih @ biskut raya tahun nie…? Tak der pun tak per lah… aku paw mak mertua aku punyer kuih & biskut raya lah… hahahaha.. teruk betul dapat menantu cam aku nie… dah la tak reti masak… paw pulak.. J Aku amat bertuah dapat keluarga mertua yang sangat baik hati dan seorang suami yang penyayang.. aku rasa la… bagi aku la… kalo orang lain aku tak tau plak.. J aku cakap macam tu sb husband I nie sentiasa tolong kat dapur… J tahun nie banyak sangat la benda yang terjadi… hope everything will be better.. insyaallah.

Itu sahaja coretan pada hari ini… J

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"Creating Value Towards Sustainable Success"

What Balqis has achieve till today...

Since 20 month:

1. Can relate different word with same meaning.
Eg: mama=farah, ayah=baba=papa=abah, pakcik=adik, makteh=kakak, tok=mak, balqis=batrisya=tisya=balqis batrisya=qis

2. Start to explore new alternative doing thing.
Eg: nak ambil barang jatuh bawah meja & capai dengan tangan tak sampai, she will take other things untuk capai benda tu or nak ambil benda on high cabinet or table, she will take anything such as cushions, small chair or box for her to climb up.

3. She can play masak-masak & pondok-pondok with her teddy bears with set periuk I just bought.

4. She can partly dress herself - try pakai stokin, kasut, seluar & baju by herself.

so far as I remember that's all. nanti kalau teringat lagi... I'll update again.

raya is coming again....

Disini saya ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya to all my friends & family around the world... old friends yang masih mengingati saya... SKMT; St. Anne's Convent, Kulim; MRSM, Beseri; bebudak KAED; UIA; staf EadieVoon Architect; staf KAZ Akitek; staf Latitude Design / Modern Kitchen & staf SME Bank.... dan tidak lupa kengkawan yang lain. Maaf tahun nie tak sempat nak menghantar kad raya bagai sb sibuk memanjang kerja... kerja-kerja-kerja... hujung minggu pun kerja... office pun tahun nie tak provide kad macam tahun-tahun lepas.. jadi kita bagi e-card jer lah... :) Selamat menyambut Aidilfitri ... sesape yang balik kampung tu bawa lah kete elok-elok, budak-budak jangan main mercun... sila observe yer ibu bapa sekalian.... Moga semua berbahagia di hari yang mulia ini.

teringinnyer....

Lately nie memang selalu teringin nak baby lagi…. Seronok bila tengok Balqis seronok tengok baby and even baby picture… she will be very excited and telling me in her own language yang kadang2 boleh faham but bila banyak sangat dia nak cerita I can’t catch anything.. hehehehe… but I know she really love and excited about babies. Everyday when I fetch her from her nanny’s house she will tell stories about newborn baby (the nanny’s daughter’s child – tengah berpantang kat situ). She will tell me everything what that baby was doing… baby tido, baby mandi, baby yak (poop), baby tutu (minum susu) and so on… mmm… hopefully I’ll be conceive again soon. J

I’ve been surfing the website for checklist… banyak lah pulak dah sekarang… dah macam-macam website ada check list… good and helpful for new mothers. Here are some website that I think is good to share with.

1. http://www.littlewhiz.com/files/Newborn%20Baby%20Checklist.pdf

2. http://www.babynames.org.uk/new-born-baby-checklist.htm

3. http://www.baby-checklist.com/

4. http://www.mybbstore.com/index.asp?p=/static/NewbornList.html

5. http://www.thenewparentsguide.com/essential-baby-products.htm

Mmmm… for me I had to replace few old things like clothing, binder, milk bottle and another few more things… lain-lain bole pakai balqis punyer.. tapi nak kene balqis punyer la pulak sb dah besarkan… contoh car seat… J

Hand, foot, and mouth disease

Last month, Balqis was infected with HFMD viral from her nanny’s house. Not sure the virus came from either from one of the children or the neighbors infected children. But the virus spread so fast. First I had notice was red rashes, itchy (she was complaining “atai” (gatal) appear at buttocks area (19^th July 2010). Then the next day (20^th July 2010), she’s crying while pooping. In my mind, thinking… “tak kan nanny nie tak perasan anak aku berak dan tak tukar lampin anak aku sampai merah-merah…, tak kan tak sempat nak tukar sb ada budak demam. Abis nak biar anak aku plak sakit?” Pelik jugak… Next day (21^st July 2010), one of the boys had high fever and muntah-muntah with rashes all over body. Her mom called me and informed her child could be infected by HFMD and she was on the way to see pediatrician. If it was confirmed she will ring me and I had to take Balqis home for precaution. Takut berjangkit… Then I had my phone ring, and to my worries… it was confirmed and that boy should be warded coz of dehydration. I took time-off since it’s already 5.00pm. Rush to nanny’s house hopping Balqis still not infected. When I arrive and see Balqis… I knew I was too late to protected her from infected, because of red blister rash had appear around her mouth and hands. Well at least I knew early before it gets worse. I quickly went back home and bring her to see doctor for medication and some advice to take care of her. Instead of the advice from doctor, I also search the internet for supporting info. I have gone trough few websites:

1. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hand-foot-and-mouth-disease/DS00599/DSECTION=symptoms

2. http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/h/hand_foot_mouth_disease/symptoms.htm

3. http://bodyandhealth.canada.com/condition_info_details.asp?disease_id=310

4. http://www.babycenter.com/0_hand-foot-and-mouth-disease_1614.bc?page=2

The virus infection was spread fast. That day all the children there, was infected by HFMD. From this day (22^nd July 2010) onwards I was on EL (emergency leave) for 5 days. During those days, I tried my best to make sure her fever doesn’t hike up, she drinks a lot of water to her body, feeds her with all sot of cold foods, such as barli, halwa kundur, lai chee kang and more, making sure she eats although her mouth and throat are full with ulcers (cian anak aku). What I did to help her fight this virus was, sapu all over her body with calamine lotion to ease itchiness, sapu her mouth with ubat kebas mulut tu to make sure she can eat & has enough energy by making sure she can eat and play with her in make sure she eats, drinks, energetic and controlled her temperature. The other are depends to her body to fight the virus back.

Here I attached an article from Babycentre.com as information and guidance for all.

What is hand, foot, and mouth disease?

Hand, foot, and mouth disease (HFMD) is a fairly common viral illness in children. (HFMD is not the same as foot-and-mouth disease, also called hoof-and-mouth disease, which affects animals.)

© Biophoto Associates / Photo Researchers, Inc

HFMD most often occurs in preschoolers, although adults and children of any age can get it. Most adults have developed antibodies against it from previous exposure. HFMD most often shows up in the summer and fall.

HFMD can be caused by any of a number of viruses, most commonly the coxsackie virus. Although in very rare cases HFMD can lead to viral meningitis or encephalitis (inflammation of the brain), children usually recover just fine, without treatment, in a week to ten days.

What are the symptoms?

If your baby contracts HFMD, he'll first have a mild fever. You may notice that his appetite isn't what it usually is. He may also have a sore throat and feel lousy in general.

A day or two after the fever starts, your baby will develop painful sores in his mouth — on his tongue, gums, or the inside of his cheeks. This will likely make him irritable.

Your child may also develop a rash on the palms of his hands, the soles of his feet, and maybe his buttocks. The rash, which isn't itchy, starts out as small, flat, red dots that may turn into bumps or blisters.

Is HFMD contagious?

Yes, the virus can be transmitted through nose and throat secretions, the fluid in the blisters, or stool. While your baby will be most contagious during the week he first shows symptoms, the virus can be transmitted for weeks afterward.

If your baby usually goes to daycare, check with the staff about the attendance policy. They may want you to keep your child home until his symptoms are gone or even longer.

Should I call the doctor?

Yes. Although your baby's doctor won't be able to do much, she can make recommendations for fever and pain relief. And if you're not sure that HFMD is what you're dealing with, the doctor can confirm it by taking a look.

If your baby is under 3 months and his rectal temperature reaches 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit or higher, call the doctor immediately. (A baby this young with a fever needs to be watched carefully.)

If your baby is at least 3 months old, talk with his doctor about when she'd like you to call. She may suggest that you call if your baby's temperature reaches 101 degrees F or higher, or, once he's 6 months old, when his fever reaches 103 degrees F.

One thing your doctor will be watching for is dehydration, because the mouth sores may make it difficult for your baby to drink anything. If your baby shows any signs of dehydration — such as a dry, parched mouth or going six hours or more without wetting his diaper — call his doctor immediately.

How should I care for my baby while he's sick with HFMD?

If your baby has a relatively mild case of this illness, you won't have to do much beyond watching his temperature and making sure he's taking in enough liquids and food. If your baby gets a bad case of HFMD, though, he can be really miserable. Be prepared to do plenty of soothing in addition to pushing the liquids.

If your baby is eating solid foods, avoid giving him anything salty, spicy, or acidic while his mouth hurts. Soft foods will be easiest for him to handle, too.

Cold drinks, ice cream, and ice pops may ease the pain, as will the proper dose of acetaminophen or ibuprofen, if your doctor okays it. (Never give a child aspirin. It can lead to Reye's syndrome, a rare but potentially fatal disorder.)

One way to temporarily ease the pain is to dip a cotton swab in a one-to-one mixture of a liquid antacid (such as Maalox or Mylanta) and liquid children's antihistamine (such as Benadryl), and gently coat the inside of your baby's mouth with the solution. The combination of these two over-the-counter medicines will coat and soothe the sores. In severe cases, your doctor may recommend adding a prescription medicine to the mix.

Can my baby get HFMD more than once? How can I prevent it?

Your baby can come down with HFMD again. As with colds, your child will develop immunity to the specific virus that made him sick, but there are many viral strains that can cause the illness.

Take precautions such as washing your baby's hands regularly, washing and disinfecting toys and other objects that might have germs on them, and trying to avoid infected children. Still, it's impossible to guarantee that your child won't catch the illness if he's exposed to an infected person.

What if I'm pregnant when my child comes down with the illness? Is the baby I'm carrying at risk?

If you're exposed to HFMD when you're pregnant, the chance that your fetus will be affected is very small, but you should mention it to your ob-gyn. Wash your hands frequently after changing diapers or tending to your sick child's needs. You might also want to consider wearing gloves to keep your risk to a minimum.

Article from: http://www.babycenter.com/0_hand-foot-and-mouth-disease

Unwanted visitor...

Since last two weeks I've been receiving calls and SMS from house agent to set appointment for new potential house buyer. But since here at this condo we always heard and read news on notice board posting bad news of house break. Although it has been fully equips with CCTV, alarm and guards. We didn't want the appointment or meeting done before we had transferred all our belonging back to kampung. We had given dates to confirm that is after raya. But some how the agent seems to be very hush and ignoring our needs. Everyday he will call 4-5 kali and I usually doesn't pick up his call since I'm damn busy in the office with meetings and discussions, since last two weeks coz of new restructuring exercise here in SME Bank. Almost everyday I have to be in the office untill 9.00 to 10.00 pm with balqis (since nobody will take care of her at that time). I'm feeling tired and frust with this guy keep chasing me, dah la tension with the office work yang nak all SEGERA and in rush with arahan yang tak tetap dan berubah-ubah. I have to handle about 4 renovation at a time and to conduct staff transfer and penempatan which includes dealing with wireman, workstation and office equipment supplier, movers, technicians and more at a time. Da** I can't do by myself I need help!

And today I am sick at home with balqis. Tadi malam, while we are all in bed getting to sleep. Somebody ring our door bell berkali-kali macam orang giler. Stupid! Orang nak tido la! We didn't open the door since we don't know who's at the door. If it is somebody we know they should have ring us a call. Nowdays it is scary, some strangers can just ambush your home and samun or rompak with geng. Takut tau baca berita macam-macam kat newspaper.

Dalam hati, "tuan rumah nie tak sabar2 nak halau orang dari rumah. Tak leh ker negotiate elok2... Orang pun takut la... Kalau buat polis report apa jadi ek? Saya salah ker? Bukan ker kira langgar privacy orang dah tu, walaupun memang rumah dia? Am I wrong? What are your opinion? Anybody?

Sent from my iPod

DSLR camera...

I use to have SLR camera before used during my study as an architecture student in UIA... was bought in 1998, using my savings since child.. cost me about RM1500. I bought CANON EOS 500N in Bintang Maju fotoshop at Central Market (CM). At that time photography is costly and "only for people with money", but then I'm willing to sacrifice my saving only for my hobby or "minat". Really fall in love with photography since childhood, reading photography books and adore their works. My experience using camera starts after my mom bought me a small camera from mecca during their haj (1992). Then, film cost about RM7-12 for 36 exposure of 100 i'm not sure what... :) but usually i bought 36 exposure of 400 coz it can cater both dark and bright environment, which will cost about RM14-16 per roll of film.

I was wondering around for years since digital SLR in the market but not single one make me fall in love... until about few years back... Falling in love with CANON 7D. Although my film SLR still in good condition but the running cost today is very expensive... film now days very hard to find and if you want to view your picture you have to process it, processing fee is about RM5 and photo printing for 4R is 60-80 cent per piece, back then you can only get it at 30-35 cent per piece...

I'm quite fussy on buying things... Not only the specification i'm looing for but the looks, the overall composition, weight, price and what it can give me... I'm looking for camera that can capture in speed, fast.. bole tangkap banyak kali dengan cepat... their waiting time paling sikit... and can do most of my last SLR camera can do.. but still this 7D has few thing it can't do compared to my film SLR... but it is minimal... I'm thinking of both NIKON or CANON?


Apa pendapat kawan-kawan? Which is better? or thei's other i don't know about.... SONY, PANASONIC, SAMSUNG, etc.

Cakes!

I'm thinking of buying special birthday cake for balqis birthday this year, since I'm no good at baking cakes.

I was thinking to made special request on the cake design, but I can't made my mind. First of all the flavor of the cake should be fruits or strawberry.

Balqis loves Teddy bear so do cats and colors... Which one should I choose or can I combine all those? How will the cake look like? Is it ok? Or caca-merba? Well I think I should leave it to the expert since I'm not. Here some picture of cakes I've surf trough the web for some ideas.

My dream...

How I wish I could have my own shop. I wish to have own art & photo shop which comprise of my handmade craft and art work & collection of my photo or gallery of my photo. Really wish to become one of the great children portrait photographer. For me that is the most challenging part of all as a photographer. To capture moment and portrait of children. There are many photographer in the overseas, but here in Malaysia so far not as I expected, although there are few kira good photographer like Saiful Nang and his wife, others I'm not really sure. Here are some example I pick from few web of photographer around the world that I love and making me wanted to be and to try to take pictures or learn. :)

Menjalani operation buat kali pertama.

Last Saturday (3rd July 2010), I've lost my new baby... That morning I bleed heavy just as similar to what had happened before during my first pregnancy . The difference is it happens at early stage (1-8 weeks) compared to first pregnancy at 2-3rd trimester (more than 6month)

Monday at 8.30am, went to see O&G for checkup. O&G checked and resulting there still left over (the main fetus) in my uterus and making it more difficult to fall off itself is my uterus "terbalik" u-shape terbalik, they call it introvert. So I end up to have an operation to remove the remaining. O&G explained about the operation and it called ERPOC (better than D&C), she said the operation only took place about 15-20 minutes. I was warded immediately trough all the procedures. I have to change to operation clothes no others only it, including underwear. I was pushed in operation theater at 9.45am. I was given ubat I'm not sure of it's name injected trough my vein. I can see all the nurses busy preparing around me and talking to doctor. One nurse tell me if I'm feeling sleepy just close my eyes. The moment I open my eyes, I was in the ward. I didn't know when I fell asleep. About few minutes my hubby and little princess came. It was about 12.00 noon... then later doctor came to see me. She ask whether I'm awake or sedar or feeling anything during the operation. I said no... not at all. she said I was speaking to nurse and my eyes are open wide, so they put me more dose of ubat. but actually at that time I was already asleep... but still awake?? Lama jugak lah yer aku tido maknanya... hehehe... still feeling a little dizzy that time... later I was discharge from ward at around 6.00 pm. I was given 7 days MC till next checkup on next Monday.

The feelings and pain are diffenrent from bersalin dulu... kalau bersalin dulu sakit during bersalin time... and after bersalin tak rasa apa-apa kecuali penat dan keletihan. Tapi kali ini, tak sakit during operation since telah dibius sehingga pengsan terus, but after that perut dan belakang memang sakit... kalau baring jer ok lah... kalau jalan lebih sikit contoh kemas rumah.. memang sakit and will bleed. So sekarang I'm at home berehat till next appointment.

BUMBO Chair

I have some thing to share with all my friends about this recent mail i've got from a friend. For other to be aware of how dangerous it can be. Here i attached with web adress of panduan pencegahan kecederaan kanak-kanak from Kementerian kesihatan.

http://www.infosihat.gov.my/media/bukuKecil/BK_Pencegahan%20Kecederaan%20Kanak-kanak/Kecederaankanak2_BM.pdf

Bumbo Seat – Dangerous Seat

A little over a month ago I was with a friend in a local store looking for a baby gift. We saw the bumbo seat and my friend thought that would be a neat gift, but working in a law office I have become leery about products. I expressed my concerns to her that in recent days we might hear of a defect with the seat......

"The reports of serious head injuries prompted the CPSC to announce a nationwide warning to consumers that have these — not to put these on elevated surfaces and be aware that children can climb out of them or they can tip over in these chairs," said CPSC Senior spokesperson Julie Vallese.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission knows of at least 28 incidents of babies falling out of Bumbo Seats. Three of those cases resulted in skull fractures.

The Lamm family has filed a lawsuit against the Bumbo company and Target stores, where a friend bought their chair as a gift.

The Lamm Story (taken from ABC news):
"If it had been three minutes later he wouldn't have made it," said Mary Catherine Doherty, Dylan's mother, Santa Rosa .

"He arched his back and the Bumbo tilted and the back folded and he toppled over backwards. When I picked him up, I could feel his head and I could tell it wasn't good," said Kevin Lamm of Santa Rosa Dylan landed head first on the hard kitchen floor. He was rushed to the hospital with a cracked skull and it was filling with blood.

"By the time we got there, there was no pulse — three minutes more and he would have been dead. I dont' know what I'd do if I lost him. He means everything to us," says Kevin Lamm.
Emergency surgery saved his life.

Now the Lamms want to warn everybody about this chair.

Bumbo told ABC News they do not encourage parents to use the seats on raised surfaces and that they have been cooperating with the CPSC, but until recently the Bumbo web site and Bumbo's displaying package contradicted this by declaring the seat safe for use on "any level surface," and had photos of babies sitting in the seat all in a row on top of a picnic table during a birthday party posted on the company's web site as well as displayed on its packaging. The Bumbo Company told ABC's San Francisco Local Channel 7 On Your Side investigation team that its seat is safe with "suitable supervision," and that the term safe on any "level" surface means "ground level."

Many photos as well as the statement "safe on any level surface" have since been removed from the website due to inquires and the Lamm law suite. Bumbo says it wants to avoid "contradictory" messages. The company based out of South Africa said they are making new warning labels and instructions and taking the seats off shelves until the warnings can be added.

Videos posted on YouTube show other babies escaping from their Bumbos, from wriggling their way out to taking tumbles from countertops

Diari seorang wanita..

Satu cerita pendek untuk tatapan dan pengajarann...

Aduh...sakitnyer. ..isk.... . aduuh....Bang sakit nye tak tahan saya" keluh Nisa pada suaminya Zakri.




"Apelah awak nie....lama sangat nak bersalin dah berjam-jam dah tak keluar-keluar juga. Penat dah saya tunggu. Nih mesti ader benda yang tak elok awak buat , itu lah sebab lambat keluar budak tu banyak dosa la tu" rungut Zakri pd Nisa.



Nisa hanya diam dan menahan sakit nak beranak, hampir 1 jam Nisa dalam bilik bersalin tapi baby tak keluar juga. Sebak hati Nisa bila Zakri berkata begitu. Sejak mengandung ada sahaja yang tidak kena dihati Zakri terhadapnya. Seakan-akan membenci Nisa dan anak yang dikandungnya. Jururawat datang memeriksa dan kemudian bergegas memanggil Doktor Johari. Doktor Johari (Doktor Peribadi) datang dan bergegas menyediakan keperluan menyambut kelahiran. Nisa hanya mendiamkan diri menahan sakit dan air mata meleleh panas dipipi bukan disebabkan takut atau sakit tapi rungutan Zakri tadi. Doktor Johari menyuruh Nisa meneran ...."Come on Nisa u can do it...once more...." Kata ransang Doktor Johari itu membuatkan Nisa bertenaga dan sekali teran sahaja kepala baby sudah keluar..."Good mummy" kata Doktor Johari selepas menyambut baby yang keluar itu.



Tiba-tiba Nisa terasa sakit lagi dan Nisa meneran untuk kali kedua dan keluar seorang lagi baby, kembar rupanya. "Nisa u got twin, boy and girl, putih macam mummy dia" kata Doktor Johari memuji Nisa. "Tahniah Zakri,it's a twin" Doktor Johari mengucapkan tahniah kepada Zakri. Zakri hanya mendiamkan diri setelah menyaksikan kelahiran anak pertamanya, kembar pulak. Memang Doktor Johari itu menyuruhnya melihat bagaimana keadaan kelahiran anaknya. Baby boy dan girl Nisa namakan Mohammad Danial dan Nur Dania.Nisa berasa lega... tapi Nisa masih lagi teringat kata-kata Zakri padanya sebentar tadi. Terlalu banyak kata-kata yang membuat Nisa selalu kecil hati . Tapi Nisa tahankan sahaja. Nisa tahu kalau Nisa mengadu pada emak, Nisa akan dimarahi semula. Jadi Nisa hanya diam dan memendam rasa. Danial dan Dania diletakkan di nursery di Hospital itu sementara menanti Nisa berehat kemudian dapatlah Nisa menyusukan Danial dan Dania. Comel sungguh kembar Nisa. Nisa termenung dan otak fikirannya menerbang kembali detik-detik semasa Nisa mengandungkan kandungannya, Zakri selalu memarahi Nisa, ada sahaja yang tidak kena. Kata Nisa yang bukan-bukan, gila, ada sahaja tuduhan yang tidak masuk akal semuanya dihamburkan pada Nisa. Tak sanggup Nisa hadapi semua itu tapi demi kandungannya, Nisa kuatkan semangat dan pendirian Nisa.



Ingat lagi waktu Nisa mula mengandung Zakri tak percaya Nisa mengandung anak dia, dua kali dia membuat pemeriksaan Antenatal samada Nisa mengandung.Zakri ragu anak dalam kandungan Nisa. Dia tak boleh terima baru tiga bulan kahwin dah mengandung.. .Nisa dah 2 bulan...Nisa cuma kosong selama sebulan selepas berkahwin. Nisa tak tau nak cakap apa.



Nisa balik rumah dalam kesedihan. Pada mulanya Nisa gembira bila mengandung tapi sebaliknya pula yg terjadi. Perasaan hati Nisa bangga Nisa dapat memberi zuriat kepada Zakri. Tapi apa yang Nisa dapat hanyalah tuduhan yang tak pernah terlintas di otak jemala Nisa. "Kenapa abang berlainan sekarang ni, tak macam dulu pelembut, suka berjenaka, ni tak asyik nak cari salah Nisa sahaja. Nape Bang?"soal Nisa pada Zakri . "Kaulah penyebabnya. Tak yah nak tunjuk baik plak" Zakri menempelak Nisa "Jantan mana yang kau layan kat opis kau tu" sergah Zakri lagi. "Abg syak Nisa ngan lelaki lain ke? Kenapa Abg syak yg bukan-bukan, Nisakan isteri Abang yang sah tak kanNisa nak buat jahat ngan orang lain pulak Bang"? terang Nisa pada Zakri. "ALLAH dah bagi kita rezeki awal,tak baik cakap cam tu. Itu semua kehendak ALLAH" Nisa senyum dan menghampiri sambil memeluk badan suaminya tetapi Zakri meleraikan pelukan Nisa dengan kasar sehingga Nisa hampir tersungkur. Nisa menangis dan sedih. Zakri buat tak tahu sahaja. Deraian airmata Nisa semakin laju. Nisa hanya mampu menangis. Terasa dada .Nisa sakit menahan semua tohmahan dari Zakri, suaminya yang sah. "Woi, benda-benda tu bole terjadilah Nisa, kawan baik ngan bini sendiri, suami sendiri, bapak ngan anak, hah emak ngan menantu pun bole jadi tau apatah lagi macam kau nie, tau tak. Tu dulu kawan kau lama tu yang satu opis ngan kau tu, Farid, bukan main baik lagi budak tu" marah Zakri. "Entah-entah keturunan kau, darah daging kau pun tak senonoh.... heee teruk. Nasib aku la dapat bini cam engkau ni"kutuk Zakri lagi pada Nisa. "Bawa mengucap Bang, jangan tuduh saya yang bukan-bukan saya bukan perempuan tak tentu arah walaupun saya menumpang keluarga ni , saya bukan jenis macam tu saya tau akan halal haram, hukum hakam agama. "Walaupun saya tak tau asal usul keluarga kandung saya, saya bersyukur dan berterima kasih pada emak kerana jaga saya dari kecil dah macam darah daging saya sendiri" kata Nisa pada Zakri. "Tapi Abang tak boleh hina keluarga kandung saya walaupun saya tak pernah tengok muka ayah dan mak kandung saya. Mereka lahirkan saya kedunia,"ucap Nisa sambil menangis.



Semenjak kejadian itu Nisa terpaksa mengikut Zakri ke tempat kerjanya apabila habis waktu kerja. Nisa berehat di Surau tempat Zakri bekerja. Zakri bekerja di salah sebuah Pusat membeli belah dan kerjanya mengikut shif.Kalau Zakri shif malam terpaksalah Nisa menunggu Zakri sehingga pukul 10.30 malam - 11.30 malam sehingga habis Pusat membeli belah itu tamat waktu perniagaannya. Nisa terpaksa berbohong pada emak dan keluarga lain dengan mengatakan Nisa buat overtime di pejabat. Nisa terpaksa berbuat demikian kerana tidak mahu dikata-kata dan dituduh lagi. Dengan keadaan perut semakin membesar Nisa gagahkan juga. Tetapi kadangkala Zakri tidak menjemput Nisa di tempat kerja terpaksalah Nisa menaiki bas. Begitulah Nisa sehinggalah Nisa hampir pada waktu bersalin Nisa. Kalau diminta jemput...macam- macam kata kesat dilemparkan pada Nisa, perempuan tak tau berdikarilah, berlagak senang lah, lagak kaya lah. Pernah suatu hari Nisa naik marah kerana Zakri jemput Nisa lambat sampai sakit pinggang Nisa menunggunya. Nisa menangis. Zakri tiba-tiba naik angin dan cakap perangai Nisa macam firaun la, perempuan tak sedar dirilah, tak layak jadi isterilah, menyusahkan macam-macam kata nista dilemparkan pada Nisa.



Nisa tambah sedih mengenangkan diri Nisa, ngadu kat emak takut dimarahi pula...bila Nisa balik ke rumah, mereka berdua akan berlakun yang mereka tidak bergaduh...Nisa sedaya upaya tidak mahu menunjukkan yang masalah melanda perkahwinannya. Kasihan Nisa...dalam keadaan yang begitu Nisa masih mampu bertahan, masih kuat lagi emosinya. Satu hari Zakri dalam keadaan marah telah menarik rambut Nisa dan menghantukkan kepala Nisa ke dinding...Nisa hanya mampu menangis dan menanggung kesakitan gara-gara Nisa nak pergi ke rumah Mak Usu Nisa yang ingin mengahwinkan anaknya di Tanjung Karang. Emak Nisa dah seminggu pergi ke sana untuk menolong. Hari dah mula petang jadi Nisa mendesak agar bertolak cepat kerana kalau hari malam nanti bahaya , "Kita nak jalan jauh ni Bang. Biarlah kita pergi awal sikit bolehlah tolong apa yang patut. Masa nilah kita nak membalas pertolongan mereka, ingat tak masa kita kahwin mereka bekerja keras kan "kata Nisa pada Zakri. Zakri ketika itu sedang berehat menonton. "Bang dengar tak ni, lagi pun hari dah mula gelap,takut plak hujan nanti"desak Nisa lagi. Tiba-tiba Zakri bangun dan mukanya bengis memandang Nisa "Kau tahu aku penatkan, tak boleh tunggu ker,suka hati aku lah nak pegi malam ke siang ke tak pegi langsung ker"marah Zakri. "Itu Nisa tau, Abang dah berehat dari pagi tadi Bang masih penat lagi, Nisa cuma nak ingatkan Abang aja"Nisa memberitahu Zakri. Zakri datang pada Nisa dan direntapnya rambut Nisa dan di hantukkannya kepala Nisa kedinding.



Nisa tak dapat buat apa. YA ALLAH sanggup Zakri berbuat demikian...terasa kebas kepala Nisa dan mula membengkak. Pening kepala Nisa dibuatnya. "YA ALLAH kau kuatkan iman aku YA ALLAH, lindungilah aku dan kandungan aku dari bahaya YA ALLAH" doa Nisa dalam hatinya. Nisa memencilkan diri Nisa disudut dinding dan menangis.Zakri kemudian duduk diam. Nisa rasa kepala Nisa macam nak pecah. Kebas masih lagi dan embengkak.. .berdenyut2. .."Bang, Nisa minta maaf jika Nisa membuat Abang marah" Nisa memohon maaf pada Zakri sambil teresak-esak.



Treet,Treet, Treet, Treet....bunyi handphone Zakri. "Sapa plak nie sebok je....."Rungut Zakri yang tengah sibuk berborak dengan kawan-kawan di salah sebuah caf?. "Hoi, Encik Zakri, bini ko kat wad tak gi jengok ke, apa punya laki ko nie? sindir Azlan, kawan pejabat Zakri. "Alah, dia sihat je kat wad tu, makan tanggung berak cangkung, ha,ha,ha"gelak Zakri dan kawan-kawan lain. Azlan cuma berdiam diri. "Senangnya hidup Zakri nie tak ader risau langsung pasal bini dia"cetus hati Azlan. "Akulah kalau bini aku masuk wad bersalin aku sentiasa dok sebelah dia tau...mereka perlukan kita masa tu...nyawa mereka dihujung tanduk semata-mata nak melahirkan zuriat yang dari darah daging engkau tau, cuba fikir sikit" Azlan mengingatkan Zakri. "Iyelah, Lan, lagipun Nisa dah bersalin, selamat dah, sekarang tengah berehat laaa, apa aku nak risau lagi" jawab Zakri selamba. "Suka hati kau lah, tapi kalau ader apa-apa nanti kau jangan menyesal Zakri, sesal tak sudah nanti" kata Azlan lagi. Treet, Treet, Treet....bunyi handphone Zakri. "Hello Zakri speaking" jawab Zakri. "Hello Zakri, Doktor Johari sini, ade masalahlah Zakri, pasal Nisa, datang segera ke hospital ye Zakri, Nisa tidak sedarkan diri........ ."panggilan kecemasan dari Doktor Johari "Iye ke, teruk ke dia Johari , okay I atang"...tuttttttt . Zakri menamatkan perbualannya dengan Doktor Johari. "Lan. Kau kut aku, Nisa tak sedar diri ..."ajak Zakri pada Lan. "Hah, tadi kau kata bini kau sihat"tanya Lan pada Zakri. "Alah jom ler cepat" desak Zakri.



"Zakri, kami tak dapat selamatkan Nisa, Nisa mengalami pendarahan otak yang serius, sebelum nie pernah tak Nisa jatuh atau...terhantuk kuat cause sebelah kanan kepalanya kelihatan bengkak dan ada tanda lebam. Mungkin kesan dah lama? tanya Doktor Johari dengan serius dan ingin penjelasan Zakri. Zakri hanya mendiamkan diri. Automatik otak Zakri teringat yang dia pernah menarik rambut Nisa dan menghantukkan kepala Nisa kedinding sekuatnya... dan selepas kejadian itu Zakri tidak pernah pun membawa Nisa ke Klinik untuk membuat pemeriksaan kepalanya dan semenjak kejadian itu Nisa sering sakit kepala yang teruk ...tapi Zakri tidak pernah mengendahkan kesakitan Nisa....baginya Nisa mengada-ngada ..saja buat sakit untuk minta simpati...tetapi sebaliknya.. ...Zakri hanya diam...."YA ALLAH apa aku dah buat" rasa bersalah membuat dirinya rasa menggigil... "Doktor Zainal yang merawat Nisa kerana Nisa mengadu sakit kepala sewaktu Nisa memberi susu pada kembarnya di Nursery, sakit yang amat sangat katanya so Doktor Zainal membawa Nisa ke Lab untuk membuat scanning di kepalanya dan confirm otaknya ada darah beku tapi malangnya ia sudah ditahap yang kritikal, kami tak mampu lakukan apa-apa kerana Nisa tidak mahu di operation sebelum meminta izin dari kau Zakri, Nisa telah pergi dulu dengan tenang.Permintaan terakhir Nisa, Nisa minta kau membaca diarinya. I'm really sorry Zakri. ALLAH berkuasa Zakri kita tak dapat menghalangnya" kata Doktor Johari lalu memberikan Zakri sebuah diari yang berbalut kemas dengan kain lampin baby yang masih baru.



Zakri mengambil diari itu dan membuka setiap lembaran diari Nisa, setiap lembaran tertulis rapi tulisan Nisa dan peristiwa yang berlaku pada Nisa pada setiap hari , Zakri membacanya sepintas dan nyata keluhan,kesakitan segala luahan rasa Nisa semuanya tertera di iarinya. Dan Zakri dapati setiap peristiwa itu semuanya perlakuan buruk Zakri terhadap Nisa..."YA ALLAH kenapa aku buat Nisa begini" terdetik hati Zakri selepas membaca tiap lembaran diari Nisa. Dan terpandang oleh Zakri mukasurat akhir lembaran diari yang ditanda dengan bunga ros merah yang telah kering....membuat Zakri tertarik untuk membacanya.. . Untuk suami Nisa yang tersayang, I LOVE U Bang... "SELAMAT HARI ULANG TAHUN PERKAHWINAN YANG PERTAMA"



Assalamualaikum.



Abang,



Ingat tak bunga Ros merah ni, Abang berikan pada Nisa sewaktu mula mengenali Abang. Lama Nisa simpan bunga tu Bang...Bunga inilah lambang bermulanya perkenalan Nisa dengan Abang. Nisa benar-benar menyayangi Abang. Nisa menyimpan setiap hadiah yang abang bagi pada Nisa. Abang tak pernah tahu kan ... Itulah salah satu buktinya betapa sayangnya Nisa.. Terlebih dahulu Nisa ingin sangat dengar Abang panggil Nisa AYANG seperti kita baru kahwin...Abang panggil Nisa AYANG...terasa diri dimanja bila Abang panggil Nisa cam tu...walaupun Nisa dapat merasa panggilan AYANG itu seketika sahaja. Abang dah banyak berubah. Perkataan AYANG telah hilang dan tidak kedengaran untuk Nisa lagi. Kenapa? Bencikah Abang pada Nisa? Abang...mukasurat nie khas utk Abang. Bacalah semoga Abang tahu sayangnya Nisa pada Abang. Abang ingatkan hari nie hari ulangtahun perkahwinan kita yang pertama dan Nisa hadiahkan Abang....... Danial dan Dania. Untuk Nisa tak perlulah Abang bagi kerana tak ada apa yang Nisa inginkan melainkan kasih sayang Abang pada Nisa. Nisa akan pergi mencari ketenangan dan kedamaian untuk diri Nisa. Nisa pergi untuk menemui NYA.



Nisa harap Abang akan menjaga Danial dan Dania dengan baik dan jangan sekali-kali sakiti mereka. Danial dan Dania tak tahu apa-apa. Itulah hadiah paling berharga dari diri Nisa dan mereka adalah darah daging Abang. Jangan seksa mereka. Abang boleh seksa Nisa tapi bukan mereka. Sayangilah mereka...Nisa ingin mengatakan bahawa Nisa tak ada hubungan dengan sesiapa melainkan Abang sahaja di hati Nisa. Jiwa dan raga Nisa hanya untuk Abang seorang. Terima kasih kerana Abang sudi mengahwini Nisa walaupun Nisa in cuma menumpang kasih disebuah keluarga yang menjaga Nisa dari kecil hinggalah Nisa bertemu dengan Abang dan berkahwin. Nisa harap Abang tidak akan mensia-siakan kembar kita dan Nisa tidak mahu mereka mengikut jejak kehidupan Nisa yang malangkerana menumpang kasih dari keluarga yang bukan dari darah daging nisa....tapi Nisa bersyukur kerana dapat mengecapi kasih sayang sepenuhnya dari keluarga ini. Nisa harap sangat Abang akan sentiasa memberitahu pada kembar kita yang Nisa ibunya akan sentiasa bersama disamping kembar kita, walau pun Nisa tak dapat membelai dan hanya seketika sahaja dapat mengenyangkan kembar kita dengan air susu Nisa. Berjanji pada Nisa dan ingat DANIAL dan DANIA adalah darah daging abang...Ampunkan Nisa dan halalkan segala makan minum Nisa selama setahun kita bersama. Sekiranya Abang tidak sudi menerima Danial dan Dania berilah pada emak Nisa supaya emak menjaga kembar kita dan segala perbelanjaan Nisa dah buat nama emak untuk KWSP Nisa. Biarlah emak menjaga kembar kita sekurang-kurang terubat juga rindu emak sekeluarga pada Nisa nanti bila memandang kembar kita. Comel anak kita bang..Dania mengikut raut muka Abang...sejuk kata orang dan Nisa yakin mesti Danial akan mengikut iras raut wajah Nisa...Ibunya. ..sejuk perut Nisa mengandungkan mereka. Inilah peninggalan Nisa untuk Abang. Semoga Abang masih sudi menyayangi dan mengingati walaupun Nisa sudah tiada disisi Abang dan kembar kita.



Wassalam.

Salam terakhir dari Nisa Untuk Abang dan semua.

Doakan Nisa.



Ikhlas dari



Nur Nisa



Sabarlah Zakri, ALLAH maha berkuasa. Kuatkan semangat kau, kau masih ada Danial dan Dania" pujuk Azlan. Zakri hanya tunduk membisu. YA ALLAH,Nisa maafkan Abg Nisa. Zakri longlai dan diari ditangannya terlepas, sekeping gambar dihari pernikahan antara Zakri dan Nisa jatuh dikakinya dan Zakri mengambilnya. Belakang gambar itu tertulis "HARI YANG PALING GEMBIRA DAN BAHAGIA BUAT NISA DAN SEKELUARGA. NISA DISAMPING SUAMI TERCINTA SELEPAS DIIJABKABULKAN. SEMOGA KEGEMBIRAAN DAN KEBAHAGIAAN AKAN MENYELUBUNGI DIRI NISA DAN KELUARGA NISA HINGGA KEAKHIR HAYAT NISA.



Zakri terjelepuk dilantai dan berjuta penyesalan merangkumi seluruh tubuhnya. Zakri seakan orang hilang akal. Satu demi satu setiap perlakuannya terhadap isterinya Nisa seperti terakam dalam kotak otaknya...setiap perbuatannya. ..seperti wayang jelas terpampang.. . kenapalah sampai begini jadinya...kejamnya aku...Nisa, Nisa, Nisa maafkan Abang Nisa. Sewakt jenazah Nisa tiba dirumah suasana amat memilukan. Zakri tidak terdaya untuk melihat keluarga Nisa yang begitu sedih atas pemergian Nisa. Namun emak Nisa begitu tabah dan redha. Danial dan Dania sentiasa di dalam pangkuan neneknya.Saat akhir untuk melihat Jenazah Nisa, Zakri lihat muka Nisa tenang bersih dan Zakri kucup dahi Nisa buat kali terakhir seakan-akan lirik mata Nisa mengikuti wajah Zakri. "Nisa Abang minta ampun dan maaf" bisik Zakri perlahan pada telinga Nisa sambil menangis dengan berjuta penyesalan menimpa-nimpa dirinya. Apabila Zakri meletakkan kembar disisi ibunya mereka diam dari tangisan dan tangan dari bedungan terkeluar seolah-olah mengusapi pipi ibu mereka buat kali terakhir dan terlihat oleh Zakri ada titisan airmata bergenang di tepi mata Nisa. Meleleh perlahan-lahan bila kembar itu diangkat oleh Zakri. Kembar menangis semula setelah diangkat oleh Zakri dan diberikan kepada neneknya.



Jenazah Nisa dibawa ke pusara dan ramai yang mengiringinya termasuklah kembar bersama. Walaupun kembar tidak tahu apa-apa tapi biarlah kembar mengiringi pemergian Nisa, Ibu mereka yang melahirkan mereka. Amat sedih ketika itu.. Zakri tidak mampu berkata apa-apa melainkan menangisi pemergian Nisa yang selama ini merana atas perbuatannya. Dan akhirnya Jenazah Nisa selamat dikebumikan. Satu persatu orang ramai meninggalkan kawasan pusara dan akhirnya tinggallah Zakri keseorangan di pusara Nisa yang merah tanahnya...meratapi pilu, berderai airmata dengan jutaan penyesalan ...YA ALLAH , kuatkan hambamu ini YA ALLAH. Hanya KAU sahaja yang mengetahui dosa aku pada Nisa....ampunkan aku YA ALLAH....akhirnya Zakri terlelap disisi pusara Nisa bermimpikan oleh Zakri,Nisa datang mencium tangan, mengucup dahi dan memeluk Zakri dengan lembut mulus. Zakri melihat Nisa tenang dan jelas kegembiraan terpancar dimuka Nisa Putih bersih. Nisa, Nisa, Nisa nak kemana Nisa, Nisa, Nisaaaaaa. Zakri terjaga dari lenanya. Terngiang-ngiang suara kembar menangis. "YA ALLAH ,Zakri,Zakri bangun Zakri...dan hampir senja ni, mari kita balik, kenapa kau tidur kat sini Zakri?" tegur abang long , abang ipar Zakri. Dari jauh Zakri lihat emak dan kakak ipar mengendung kembar. Mereka menangis. Zakri berlari menuju ke arah kembarnya dan mengusap-usap ubun-ubun anak kembar dan secara automatik kembarnya diam dari menangis. "Danial, Dania anak ayah, ayah akan menjagamu nak...kaulah penyambung zuriat, darah daging ayah... emak, abang dan kakak ipar Zakri tersedu hiba dan mereka berlalu lemah meninggalkan pusara Nisa....

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new member is on da way!!

Lately I frequently fall sick... and as usual my period is late since balqis 1 year old... mmm.. after a year baru my period apear.. think it is bcoz of breastfeeding... and till now Balqis is. So for me my periop late is normal since last 6 month plus. But, bcoz of frequently getting sick and loya and weird feeling ... so I did my test this morning.... and to my surprise... Its positive!!


Tadi went to visit doctor... it is still small cant see.. only can see the karung... will meet doctor again next week for confirmation.... so tak leh kata lagi la.... :)

till then, wait for the result of next week checkup.

An article to share from nestle website.

YES, it's okay to say "NO".

Do you have trouble saying "NO" to your child? Well, if your child has more toys than he can play with, you're probably like most parents that find it hard to say "NO". But a good thing to know is the "NO" word when used correctly is as caring and loving as the "YES" word. So here are a couple of reasons why saying "NO" will make a world of a difference to the positive upbringing of your little one. Here are some rules to saying "NO" Say "NO" firmly but caringly. Explain why you're saying "NO" so that your little one will learn that you are saying it for a good reason or to protect him. Perhaps you could reinforce your explanation with a simple caring statement to him. "The reason we say YES or NO to you is because we love and care for you". Don't say "NO", more than you need to. Here are a few reasons saying "NO" will benefit you and your child Start immediately. Should your little one become so used to you saying "YES" all the time, you will find that as he gets older he will have a tough time accepting a "NO" from you. Stand firm. Children are creatures of habit. If you say "YES" to something just because you didn't want to make them unhappy, the next time you decide to say "NO" could end up in a tantrum flare up! It's good discipline. Remember, saying "NO" is also part of disciplining. A child that grows up with good discipline will find a sense of justice and security in this world. It's rewarding. And the ultimate reward for you is, your child will appreciate things more when you say "YES"! Very importantly. It will also teach your child that it's okay to say "NO" to strangers or negative elements. As parents, we all want the best for our little one, both physically and mentally. And while we always give him the best nutrition for him to grow up, we need to give him the best guidance for him to be the best.

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